I frequently face questions about
2003 and what happened then. When people here in London knew that I witnessed
that war, they often ask me describe, give opinion, analyze the experience of
war.
Their questions came with expected
answers. Pro-war interrogators expect me to confirm that war needed to happen.
They wanted me to satisfy their belief that their uniform boys saved the
primitive Iraq from its demonic dictatorship. They saluted their troops as
saviors of the world and they wanted me to concur.
On the other hand, there was the
anti-war activists, who stormed the streets one month before the war, calling
their politicians to stop the war, not to push their pretty boys into a war
they did not need to fight. They wanted me to assure them that before the war,
Iraqis were fine and had everything under control.
Both camps seek simple answers to
validate what they think is right. For me, no answer can sound right.
By the time of the war, Iraqis had
suffered 13 years of sanctions, barely surviving after the destruction of the
country’s infrastructure in the first Gulf war 1991. Appalled by Saddam’s
overnight invasion of Kuwait in August 1990, the international community in the
form of the UN security council decided to punish Saddam for his recklessness
by depriving his people from their daily-life necessities.
Even after storming the country
with barrage of bombs, and destroying every aspect of life in it, even after
withdrawing from Kuwait, the international community still thought Iraqis were
dangerous and should be kept in check and starve.
While we were hardly living, the
world woke up into the terror of the 9/11. For some reason, Saddam was to
blame, and Iraqis should pay. George W Bush’s administration started its move
to topple Saddam and “liberate” Iraqis.
The world decided what was needed
in Iraq was democracy, American flavored democracy. They prepared their bull,
and directed it toward our china shop. Operation Democracy started.
During the first hours of Thursday,
March 20th 2003, I woke up to distant bombing approaching slowly but
steadily. I went downstairs. One of the civil defense tips we learner in 1991
war was not to stay in the upper floors. But security procedures aside, i
wanted to seek refuge in my parents room, the way I did in 1991. With every
step down the sound of bombing grew stronger. My mom had just finished
praying and dad was awake as well. I asked him for assurance that it was war
again but he dismissed the bombing as far away, and wouldn’t continue. Was he
trying to brush off my fear or he did thought that these would be just like
Clinton's brief efforts in 1998? Against the evidence of the growing roars, I
believed my dad, and tried to get outside and see what was happening. Naively I
thought that I would be able to see colorful glares in the sky like fireworks.
My mom panicked and shouted at me to stay in. My mother was less calm
than my father.
I waited the sounds to get lower
and die away but they didn't. I thought like 1998 when the daylight would come,
the bombing would stop but it only get stronger. Finally the siren was set off
warning us into doomsday. (I always hated this sound; since the first time I
heard it in 1986. Couldn't they come up with better sign of warning than this
frightening sound that trumpets the apocalypse more than the barrage of bombs
falling on our heads).
The siren asserted the situation
of war. The US decided to bomb us to democracy. Apparently many of us did not
to be ‘liberated’. Iraqis were resisting the ‘liberation’ drive of US and its
allies.
Few days later, the liberation
façade was pulled down, to allow the face of invasion and destruction to show
its real spots. Infrastructure was targeted: no electricity, no clean water,
and civilians were randomly shot. The US-led coalition probably thought that
Iraqis would simply welcome them into their country, but were surprised when
they found, instead, that Iraqis were ready to die for their own country. We might
have hated Saddam, we might have wished him to leave, but definitely we didn’t
want foreign occupation. It was too complicated for the Americans to understand.
When they started to approach
Baghdad, ahead of them spread the news of the atrocities their bull committed
in every place they democratized. Most people started to leave Baghdad to
protect their the vulnerable members of their families from the coming horrors.
We left one week before the fall of Baghdad, when rumors of the approaching
tanks warned the families in our street of what might happen if these tanks
invaded the place.
I remember that day we left our
house, heading east toward the unknown. I thought I would never come back
again. That morning before we left, I saw airplanes bombing the surrounding
areas. I was mesmerized in the garden watching the glare of rockets hitting
somewhere nearby. For me this was the end of times. I left all my books, my
diaries, everything I liked in the house knowing that I was not to see them
again.
We spent a week displaced, in palm
tree orchard in Dyala, east of Baghdad. I thought this was going to be my life
till we heard the news of the fall of my city, the fall of Baghdad. The
liberation process was complete. Iraqis should go home. We were squeezed again
in my father’s small car and headed back toward home. In the way I saw the
first glimpses of American democracy: people looting their own country. The
American marines stationed at checkpoints watched smiling: operation democracy
was complete.